The ABC's of Having Grace and Charm (Good Etiquette)

You create charm, or are considered charming, while using proper etiquette or having good manners.  In turn, having good manners means you don't make others feel uncomfortable around you.  It's not just about eating quietly and neatly, it's about paying attention to the person who is talking to you, not interrupting.  It's all about making the person you are with deeling valued and you show that you care.  Good manners are a form of caring, and having empathy, for others that we come in contact with.

Having manners and charm also bridges between cultures and lifestyles.  Knowing the protocol of the other culture is a form of etiquette and each culture has it's own set of rules.  Knowing when it is appropriate to give others the spotlight, and when to listen instead of talking, shows that you care and are interested in what others have to say or what they are doing - even if you don't.

By knowing how to behave in certain situations, it could help impress those who you come in contact with.  Having these skills could potentially help you get scholarships, get into college, win friends, and ultimately, help you find a job.

Occasionally, I am asked to teach an etiquette class, or more commonly, a "CHARM" event.  I love the participation and the positive comments I get from the parents.   I feel great knowing that I have made a difference in young lives.  Like any young person, children will be children.  However, by knowing the unspoken rules that are governed by society and if parents are consistent with what they teach, children and young adults can grow up to be respectful and productive people who can continue to promote a more civilized culture of their own.  If you are interested in learning more, please email me. 

The ABC’s of Having Grace and CHARM

By Debra Manente

 

Always cover your mouth in the bend of your elbow when you sneeze or cough.

Become a person known for being trustworthy.

Cultivate a happy demeanor.  No one enjoys negative/dramatic people.

Do R.S.V.P.within a week after any type of formal invitation.

Eye contact is the cornerstone for good communication.

Food should never be played with while eating.

Greet others cheerfully and genuinely when you see them.

Hand shaking properly is a must for anyone who wants to impress.

If you desire to be respected, keep clean. The finest attire and decorations will add nothing to your appearance or beauty if it is untidy or done in poor taste.

Joining in any type of gossip is rude and unkind.

Kindly wait until someone is off the phone or done talking to another before you interrupt. When you need to, remember to say, "Excuse me."

Loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous gestures should be checked in the society of others, especially in public places.

Manners show that you take pride in yourself.

Never carry on a private conversation in company. If secrecy is necessary, withdraw from the company.

Open the door for others, especially for others older than yourself.

Put back things the way they were if you borrow or use them.

Quietly wait in lines without talking loud or making a scene.

Respect yourself.  If you don’t, others won’t either.

Send thank you notes promptly. 

Take pride in the way you keep your surroundings.

Use a napkin when you eat.  Always place it on your lap before you do anything else.

Vow to be a good example to others.

Walk tall, and stand and sit up straight.  It radiates confidence.

X-press kindness and appreciation, genuinely. Always talk and act cordial.

Yield to others while entering an elevator.  The rule is to let others off first.

Zealously practicing good manners makes the world a more civilized place.

DMALLICK 1/13

5 Things That Can Make You a Better Employee – Understanding Proper Work Etiquette Could Help You Keep Your Job

Being in the work that I do, career coaching and career development, I am always looking for ways to be a better employee, trends in the workplace, and tips to share with the students that I work with so they can obtain and RETAIN employment.   With that, I occasionally seek out friends and family to see what they think is inappropriate work behavior and their various career ideas and advice.   Along with my own viewpoints and experiences, I have come to realize that what makes a person a great employee has a common thread throughout industries.  For the most part, there is an “etiquette” that we should adhere to if we want to keep our jobs.

Let’s face it, there isn’t a single person who is perfect but there are clear cut ways on how to grab respect…and annoying others is not what is going to help you climb up the corporate ladder and get you that corner office.   Many stories I have heard were really funny and some continue to make me raise my eyebrows.  Anyhow, read on my fellow bloggies and let me know if any of this sounds familiar.  I look forward to reading your stories and maybe some of them I can include in my next blog about inappropriate work behavior.

1.      Don’t cut your toenails while you are at work. 

Seriously, I have heard several people, at different times in my experience, cutting their nails in their cubicles.  What ever happen to proper etiquette?  Apparently, no one ever taught these individuals that proper etiquette does not include personal grooming while at work when others are around.

2.      Don’t cook smelly foods. 

You might say, “What is the big deal about cooking left over fish in the microwave at work?”  For one, it can be physically agonizing for someone who is allergic to fish or shellfish.   I once knew a woman who would get physically sick and vomit when she smelled fish.  For some, even the smell of something can trigger an allergic reaction and cause an unwelcoming response.  

In graduate school, we were constantly being reminded of the people who had allergies to nuts. It was medically important to take into consideration these people if we brought “nutty” coffee or cookies to class.  I can only imagine that having allergies to common things like nuts, shellfish or even the cat hair on the coat jacket that you hang in your cubicle can be utterly miserable.  It happens though and everyday there are people in our offices that cope with these issues but simply choose not say anything out of shear fear of looking out of place. 

3.      Don’t wear strong perfumes or colognes. 

The same thing goes for perfumes and colognes as I stated in number two.  For anyone who has any type of upper respiratory auto-immune disease or allergy, the act of smelling something strong can trigger an allergic reaction and with these types of people, the response would not be the same as that for anyone without an auto-immune disease or allergy.  Therefore, please take into consideration how it may affect others.  What you decide to wear to a club or out to eat is an entirely different story.

4.      Don’t pee on the toilet seat and not clean it. 

Not only is this disgusting, rude and disrespectful – it is a sanitary hazard and …did I say Disgusting?  Need I say more?

5.      Don’t talk so loud – Use your “inside” voice.

If people can hear you down the hall, you are too loud.  There is no reason for the entire floor to have to hear your conversation.  Always use an “inside” voice because you never know who is nearby.

There are many things we could all do if we really wanted to piss off the people we work with but why would anyone want to do any of that in the first place?  Many people I talk to say it’s simply just a lack of understanding.  In some cultures, I am sure bringing fish to work is a natural, everyday occurrence. 

In short, for those of you who work for yourselves, you are the lucky few and I aspire to be like you someday.  As for those who are independently wealthy…well, I am still waiting for that winning lottery ticket.  Until then, I vow that I will do my best not to piss off the people that I work with.

If you have any funny stories or one that just makes you go…hmmmmm, don’t forget to leave a comment.  I look forward to hearing from you.   Until then, have a happy work day.  - Debra Manente